Do you ever find yourself feeling distant from the Lord?
My relationship with Him is like a yo-yo. Towards the end of my high school career He was all I had, all I needed. Then I went to college where - surprisingly enough I wasn't as bad as I thought I'd been compared to recent events. Back then the only reason I strayed away from Him was because I got so caught up in my guilt and self-loathing. I pushed myself to the edge. Luckily, I was pulled back before it was too late.
I managed to move back home and while it took a year for me to put myself back together-I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. It wasn't until I started this serving job 8months ago that I realized how impressionable I still was. I turned 21 during my time serving so that had a major influence on my distancing away from Him. It wasn't the actual substance that I had trouble with, but rather the people who couldn't control themselves with the substance. I fell into them. Into their lives and mannerisms like the rain falls to the earth. They consumed me.
Today was my last day. They stripped me of myself. I was tired of giving and giving only for it to be reciprocated in anguish. I am loyal to Him. It's because of that loyalty that He is able to deliver me and I'm so thankful. Afflictions eclipsed by glory.
My revelation: I've grown so much in the past 8 months spiritually. I'm so tired now, but glad that that battle is over. I may have been impressionable, but I am smarter now so it won't take me as long to revive.
I'm far to independent to stray against my own accord. I was reading Proverbs earlier and it's all coming together now.
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